Travel to places and meet the faces

Catatan dari suatu malam di bulan February 2010, Enschede.

Baiklah, sebelum menulis hal-hal yang essensial, gw mo curhat dulu ya.

Ini terpicu oleh pembicaraan di kamar si abang tadi petang menjelang malam. Yang tadinya ngomongin susahnya kuliah disini sama udara minggu depan yang menurut ramalan cuaca akan minus lagi (yeah right, minus lagi sodara-sodara. Mau jadi apa negara ini kalo minus terus? Hihihii…), tiba-tiba pembicaraan berbelok arah ke kerjaan masing-masing di Indonesia. Karena setelah bersusah-susah kuliah disini, toh pada akhinya harus kembali ke kenyataan untuk kerja di Indonesia, yang belum tentu ga tambah susah :P Kok hidupnya berat amat ya, susah melulu. Nyanyi lagu Sometimes Life Isn’t Easy lagi ah. Hehe…
Loh distrek.

Baiklah, bicara soal kerjaan. Ada yg PNS, dosen dan saya pengangguran. Ketika ditanya, “Loh nanti ga punya kerjaan?” saya mengangguk senang, mereka menatap sedih. Kemudian disarankan untuk ikut2 lamar tempat mereka kerja. Gw cuma manyun. Kemudian mereka bicara soal enaknya kerja di institusi mereka, gaji oke (ternyata jauh lebih gede daripada yang saya bayangkan loh!), dan banyak kesempatan berbisnis sana sini, dan tentu saja tunjangan hampir seumur hidup.
Mereka masih sibuk bincang-bincang soal nominal proyek dan apa enaknya jadi structural atau fungsional, saya malah jadi ngelamun, menatap ke luar jendela dan sayang tidak ada salju. Lho kok malah salju.
Hehe.

Terpikir soal kerjaan dan cita-cita, yang mana selalu mendapat porsi besar di hidup saya. Tapi nanti kan ga punya kerja sementara? Hehe. Entah kenapa, saya rasanya berbahagia sekali akan punya masa-masa menganggur sementara. Bukannya ga pingin kerja, tapi semenjak 4 tahun yang lalu saya kerja ga brenti-brenti. Libur ada sih, tapi ya paling lama juga 2 minggu. Dan mendapat title pengangguran sementara ini rasanya harus disyukuri. Mudah-mudahan ga lama ya. Terus buat apa disyukuri? Ya buat kontemplasi. Haha… Saya ini kok hobby amat kontemplasi. Tapi bener kok. Break yang akan segera datang ini, rasanya tepat banget buat mikirin, mau ngapain toh selanjutnya. Jarang-jarang kan?

Sementara nominal-nominal itu sudah mencapai angka 30 juta per proyek pengukuran dua hari. Kesimpulan-kesimpulan mulai muncul, mau jadi apa juga ga masalah toh yang penting perut terpuaskan.
Saya tambah kenceng memandang ke luar jendela yang ajaibnya sangat sepi di hari Sabtu. Kenapa oh kenapa, tiba-tiba ide itu terdengar sangat ‘lame’ di telinga gw. Begitu banyak yg bisa dilakukan di dunia ini, tapi kenapa semua atas nama uang? Loh, bukannya ga pingin kerja dengan gaji gede, tapi…

Angan kembali melayang ke masa-masa bekerja dulu. Secara financial memang saya ga pernah kekurangan sih. Alhamdulillah, selalu barokah. Tapi yang membuat saya bertahan justru setiap harinya. Iya, bener. Saya ga pernah lupa masa-masa dimana saya selalu bangun pagi dengan semangat lalu mandi lalu yoga dan ga sabar pingin nyampe kantor. Ga sabar pingin ketemu rekan kantor dan menyelesaikan tugas hari ini. Terdengar aneh, tapi rasanya saat itu hidup begitu berarti *lirik lirik mantan bos yang selalu mengintip postingan. Makasih banyak ya :)*
Mudah-mudahan bukan gajinya ya. Karena walaupun pernah telat digaji selama 3 bulan, saya tetap rajin ngantor tuh. Dengan harapan akan kaya mendadak. Hahahha. Wae.

Yah, jelaslah bukan masalah nominal imbalan pengukuran atau apakah saya bisa saving buat beli rumah. Karena terbukti saldo tabungan habis buat belanja buku (yang lalu ga dibaca) dan melihat tempat-tempat lain alias jalan-jalan. Dan boleh ya bilang, saya sangat suka pekerjaan saya dulu. Ya ya, boleh ya? Karena gimana ga suka, saya ini agak terobsesi milih-milih warna dan bikin lay out. Dan pekerjaan saya dulu itu membuat saya travel to places and meet faces. Rasanya itu sangat-sangatlah mahal harganya. Bertemu orang-orang yang mendatangkan banyak inspirasi, rasanya jadi tak ternilai. Dari mulai bos yang ngajarin mabuk (loh kok malah ga bener), rekan kerja yang asik buat berdiskusi, supir yang lucu banget sekaligus tempat curhat paling oke, sampai orang-orang yang hanya lewat sekelebat tetapi beberapa kalimatnya sangatlah membekas dan memicu saya untuk selalu menjadi lebih baik.  
 
Mungkin saya naive, karena uangnya memang cuma numpang lewat doang di tabungan. Tapi selama itu saya, alhamdulillah, tidak pernah merasa kekurangan. Ajarkanlah saya untuk lebih rajin menabung ya. Dan lebih lagi, ajarkanlah saya juga untuk menabung yang bukan uang. Juga bukan emas-emas. Karena terbukti saya rajin sekali menabung Mas-Mas. Hahahha. 

Two big globes and everything in between

          To keep it long, on big things, I classify my world as two main sub-worlds, technical and non-technical. These classes sometimes interfere each other and create bruises and damage. Hell yeah. But somehow, they sum and subtract things and grant me a balance life. And there, I smile and proudly say I love my life.     
          My technical globe is associated with education department, work related stuff and official employment. Generally, professional title we put in a column: job. All of this time I have been married to this thing which made me a freaky single woman and trigging people ask irritated questions [see the previous posting]. This globe keeps me busy, pays my bill, make me travel places and meet people, also challenge me to continue learning, growing and getting bigger. Hence, it is not overrated to say that I dedicate my self to be the employee of the month just to see a picture of my self, cheaply framed, and hang on the wall with a blue ribbon decoration.     
          Non-technical atmosphere keep my degree of sanity (or insanity) at the stabilize level. They make me rich without money, happy without alcohol, or simply let me be human. I find numerous little corners that tickle my senses and make me dance although the song is finished. There are no blank space in the form to fill in with this department details, so I just day dream and be content about them. Most of the time, there are no words to describe it, it is just a warm (or cold) feeling wrapped around inside my body.      
          But as I am one little girl with simplified version of endless complexity (whoa I like this sentence), I often conflicts everything at one time. How can we say, “I use my brain from 9 to 5 then use my heart for the rest.” It sounds ridiculous for me. How can I deflate my nerves and leave all the responsibility to my head? It doesn’t make sense. And now you want to rational everything with senses.
*suddenly off topic and talking with high pitch voices*
Ok, where was I? … right, now I am lost.      
        

Android point of view

To keep it short, I work with heart. Heart is my organ that transfers oxygen to my brain and other parts of my body to keep them functional. Therefore, for me it is totally rational if I am irritated by someone who said making maps is a boring job and only choosing colour and click click. You, just go to hell. You are already death if your brain and body are functioning, but not your heart. Or, go to heaven, I don’t care as long as you are in the different world than mine. Or go to your android support department to get it repaired.


Nope people, maybe we inhale the same H20 but your heart functions different than mine. 

Questions

          Recently, I got tired by people asking questions. Maybe I become more individualistic and restricted my self to general unimportant questions like the weather today or who’s number one artist on top40 chart. But for me, asking about my life, my personal life, touch the heart of me, not in a good way. Because, then I think, feel and remember people and then be sad. See? Not good.         
          I tend to think too much. About everything, every simple to complicated things. Yesterday, we watch Amazon documentary movie and amazed by how many giant creatures lives under that fresh water. I was munching huge strawberries and suddenly thought about how big strawberries can be in Amazon area. Could it be? The answer never arrived as the scientist was catching another giant creatures with red tails and we discussed how many people can finish it in one go.
          Most of the times the questions just flash and disappear into thin air. But I get easily irritated by personal questions that stick to my ear too long. I can not answer them by one simple sentence, I need cups of coffee to talk it over. But by the tone of the questions, I knew they don’t bother. They want me to be simple, just like they do, but I can’t.
          Possibly, this is due to hormonal cycle. Or a pressure on how slow my writing is going. Or how badly I will miss the people here. Or anything. But every time I pop my head in front of them, the questions always pop up as well. And there I go again, annoyed. I really wish those people disappear into thin air.
          Spending my last time here, I figure out maybe I changed too much. I look older but I would rather blame my hairstyle. But hey, of course I do change. I think, feel and learn. I meet people that I never thought before and feel them. If I don’t change, then who’s to blame?         
          Okay, previous warning is my spontaneous act and it didn’t stop people from questioning me. It even made it worse. So, I would publish this one and reminds everyone who read it with heart, please do careful with your words. Learn to write or read a good book and you will know how words can be so powerful.


Moral of the story: they don’t grow strawberries in Brazil, they plant corn and beans instead. Magically, my biologist friend always has answers even for my silly questions. That’s why I stick to him for the time being.